


Am I Going Alone

by A_BadSpellr



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Angst, Ivo done fucked up, Lots of character growth, Please don't think that it is, Shade (I want this to be Shado/Slade ship name please make it happen), Shado lives, Team Arrow, Team Lian Yu, This fic is not anti-Sarah Lance, Violence, Yoda!Diggle and Yoda!Shado, olicity - Freeform, season one AU, slowish burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-06
Updated: 2017-01-22
Packaged: 2018-09-15 05:26:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9220718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_BadSpellr/pseuds/A_BadSpellr
Summary: AU. What would happen if Ivo killed Sarah instead of Shado? How does Oliver's life change? Can he still be The Hood? Can he still find Felicity? Can he learn what it means to be a hero? A re-imagining of Arrow with old faces in new roles.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! Welcome to my new fic! 
> 
> This is going to be a pet project. I won't be able to promise a timeline for updates, as I am writing When Did I Become A Cliche and the sequel concurrently with this fic. However, I will do my best not to neglect it. 
> 
> Also I want to get this out of the way up front:
> 
> THIS FIC IS NOT ANTI-SARA LANCE. 
> 
> Sara Lance is one of the best characters in all of the DCTV Extended Universe. I love her character and I love Caity Lotz. I simply wanted to explore what would happen if she was the one who Ivo killed. Please don't hate this fic because Sara isn't it. If you hate it, let it be because you gave it a chance and thought it was bad. 
> 
> With that said, I hope you enjoy it.

 

 

 

The fading sun dropped behind the outline of the _Amazo_ , covering the freighter in darkness. Gold and orange light danced around the edges of the ship, silhouetting it against a backdrop of color. It looked cold and empty from the shoreline, the scars on the hull telling the story of its time around Lian Yu. He stared out at it sitting at anchor in the cove, a single thought reverberating through his mind.

_He was going home._

The sound of footsteps over the rocks and sand broke his reverie. He turned to find his friend and mentor headed toward him. Slade’s combat fatigues were stained with blood, his web harness tattered and frayed all over. Even the clips on his holsters had started to break, but all it did was make him look even more intimidating. He had no scars or other injuries, even after being shot and stabbed so many times during the assault on the _Amazo_.  Aside from the blood and dirt stained clothes and newly fashioned eye patch, he was the picture of health.

“You ok Kid?” Slade asked, coming to stand by Oliver’s side.

“Yeah, I’m ok. I just… I’m not sure how to do this.”

“We told you already. We will take you as far as Hong Kong. After that, we’re staying ashore.”

“Why Hong Kong?”

“She has family in the city. She wants to go and see her. Probably end up staying there. The woman only has her sister now.”

“And you?”

“I go where she goes. The Mirakuru…”

“You’ve been fine for a week. No mood swings, no anger. I thought you were ok.”

Slade shook his head and sighed.

“Last night, I woke up thinking we had an intruder at the plane. I found him sleeping over in a corner, near Shado. I wrapped my hands around his neck, but she stopped me.” Slade turned to face Oliver.

“The intruder was you, Kid.”

Oliver blinked, not really surprised.  If he had been further away from Shado, there probably wouldn’t have been a problem.  However, when it came to her, the man was irrational. He would do anything for her, and kill anyone who tried to hurt her.  Love did that to people sometimes, but love coupled with the cognitive mutations from Mirakuru made it much stronger.

“I’m not stable. I’m man enough to admit that. I’m a danger to anyone who isn’t you or her, and even then I’m still not…normal,” Slade said, chuckling at the last word. None of them would even be considered normal after what had happened on the island.  It had changed them forever, scarring them inside and out. Saying it out loud was almost funny.

“Whether you’re normal or not, you’re too stubborn to let it change you,” Oliver said. “Plus you have Shado to keep you straight. And if she can’t, I’ll just come back to Hong Kong or wherever you are and kick your ass for her.”

Slade laughed, a deep laugh that came all the way from his gut. Both men knew Oliver would never beat Slade, even without the added superhuman strength, heightened senses and rapid healing. The soldier understood Oliver’s word for what they were, a declaration of friendship and a promise to be by his side if times were tough. Oliver would never abandon either one of his friends. No matter how far he had to travel or fight, he would always be there for them.

Slade turned to face him and clapped a hand on his shoulder, careful not to hit him too hard.

“Listen Kid. This plan of yours to get home; It could be dangerous. If your family is as rich as you said, then you’ll be a magnet for scum. Are you sure you don’t want to stick on with us while you’re in Hong Kong? At least until you can get in contact with your mother and sister.”

“Slade, are you worried about me?” Oliver asked, a teasing note in his voice.

“In a way. The world out there isn’t like Lian Yu. It’s a different kind of hell. One where people smile at you while hiding a knife or spit at you while holding your hand. Nobody is who they say they are. Everyone wants something from you.” Slade leveled him with a hard look. “You’ve been away from it for a long time. Just make sure you watch your six.”

“I know all that. I’m ready for it.”

“No you’re not. You think you are, but you’re not. You’ll be cautious with everyone you meet and everything you say, but you’ll still get duped. And when your first instinct is to break that person’s neck for lying to you instead of finding out why, you’ll understand what I mean.”

Oliver looked at Slade. The soldier’s face was hard, his jaw clenched tight under his beard. His eyes blazed with an inner fire, an anger that was always close to the surface.

“After my first long deployment, I couldn’t be around other people for long periods of time,” he said. “My wife and my partner were the only ones I could tolerate. Everyone else was just a threat.”

Slade pulled his hand from Oliver’s shoulder and curled it into a fist. Those memories were assaulting his friend, crashing over him likes waves over the rocks surrounding them. His fists shook, and soon his entire body trembled. Just when he was about to explode, a calm voice called to them from the woods.

“Don’t hurt him Slade. We have to return him to his family in one piece.”

Slade’s posture changed immediately. His muscles relaxed as he released a heavy shuddering breath. Shado appeared beside him, her dark clothes almost as black as her hair. She gave Slade a warm smile and took his hand in hers, entwining their fingers together. Slade’s face softened as well, taking on a lightness Oliver rarely saw.

The moments Shado and Slade shared together were few and far between. Neither were given to public displays of affection. Their love was for themselves and none else. But there were times when they allowed themselves to show their feelings to the world. Those moments made Oliver yearn for something like that. The whole world seemed to melt away from them, leaving a space only they could occupy. Oliver couldn’t break into that space even if he wanted to. Nobody could.

They broke that bubble several moments later and turned to face Oliver. They still held onto each other’s hand, but their stance was different. This contact was to keep Slade grounded as they spoke.

“Oliver, when we arrive in Hong Kong, we will visit my sister, Mei. Will you come with us?”

“No, I need to get home. I’ve lost too much time here already…and I need to talk to Laurel. Tell her about Sara.”

“What happened to Sara was not your fault Oliver. Ivo pulled the trigger. Not you.”

“He gave me a choice. I could have saved her.”

“Yes. You could have spared her and seen me die. Or you could have spared me and seen her die anyway. You chose not to play his game.”

Oliver remembered that night. The wind and rain from the storm made it feel more like a nightmare than a memory. Ivo moved the gun between the two women, telling him to choose. He yelled at the man from his knees, calling him a sick man, a psychopath. Ivo had chosen for him then, shooting Sara in the head. Her body had fallen from the cliff to the raging water below them. Oliver kept asking himself why hadn’t save her, why had he let her die again?

“Oliver it was not your fault,” Shado said again.

Oliver sighed. Shado would always tell him it was not his fault. He would always blame himself anyway. Sara would never have been on the island if he hadn’t snuck her onto the boat. He would live with that guilt and pain forever. He’d had a chance to save her, and he had failed.

“You can’t bring her back. But you can make sure that you live. It’s what she would have wanted.  She would have wanted you to get home. You have an obligation to tell her family about her. They deserve to know of her bravery.”

Slade stepped forward again, stepping to the left so Shado could stand next to him in front of Oliver. They both looked at him with understanding and varying degrees of compassion. They knew he would blame himself for everything that happened to the ones he loved. It would be his curse.

“Oliver, you know that she would want to see you make it home,” Slade said, shaking his head once, “but she can’t. So you owe it to her to make sure that when you get back to your city, you tell her parents and her sister what happened. She was strong. Make sure they know that at the very least.”

“I can’t…I can’t tell them the truth,” Oliver said, his voice barely a whisper. “They can’t know about Ivo and her time on the boat. But they deserve to know she was strong.”

Slade nodded and Shado smiled, both of them offering their approval in their own way. The three of them turned toward the _Amazo_. The crew had readied the boat an hour ago, waiting to leave on their new captain’s orders.

“So Captain Fei, are you ready to shove off,” Slade asked.

“Shut up soldier, or I’ll poke your eye out.”

She gave him a smile that could almost be described as flirtatious and walked toward the waiting long boat. Slade followed on her heels. Oliver brought up the rear. He turned and took one last look at the hell that had been his home for the last two years. In the fading light, the shadows seemed softer, the forest less threatening. However, the danger was always there. It lurked beneath the surface, hiding in plain sight, ready to swallow the ill equipped and unprepared. Oliver turned his back to Lian Yu and walked toward the long boat.

If he never saw Purgatory again, it would be too soon.

***

“Are you sure you won’t stay Oliver? We would love to have you for dinner,” Mei said. She stood next to Shado in the bustling street market in Hong Kong, surrounded by the noise and chatter yet still easily heard. The sisters were near identical, with only their clothing and hairstyle giving away their identity. If they switched clothes and both wet their hair, they would look the same.

Oliver looked at Slade standing just behind Shado and to her right. He would know the difference without having to try. His connection with Shado was almost scary. They communicated with looks alone sometimes; they had done it for weeks aboard the _Amazo_. It had annoyed him at first, not being able to join in on their silent conversation. After the first week though, he became fascinated by it. He longed for a connection like that; something strong enough to let them understand each other with just a touch or a look.

Oliver shook his head, both to answer Mei’s question and to shake off the romantic thoughts. He had things to do. He had a very important email to send.

“Thank you, but I have things to arrange for my trip home.”

Shado stepped forward and pulled him into a hug, patting him on the back several times. He returned the hug, hoping he could express all of his gratitude for what she had done for him. She pulled away and smiled at him.

“Take care of yourself. We won’t be there to protect you this time.”

He smiled and nodded. Slade stepped forward and extended his hand. Oliver took it and clasped his wrist. Slade gave him a half smile, a genuine look of brotherly affection. He pulled Oliver to him and embraced him with one arm and clapped him on the back.

“You have a tail,” he whispered, “5 o’clock. Asian, medium height, ponytail, suit with a black tie.”

Oliver clapped Slade on the back once and nodded, grateful for his friend’s parting gift. He waved once more to three of them and turned, making sure to turn to his left and not make eye contact with his tail. He walked through the market and tried to blend in. Unfortunately, he was a full head taller than everyone else, and his shaggy blond hair marked him easily. He could almost feel his tail catching up to him. He kept his pace even until he came to an intersection. He cut left and broke into a run, tipping over a food cart as he went to slow his pursuer. He ran as fast as he could through the crowded street until he found what he was looking for.

An Internet Café.

***

**_3 Years Later_ **

Oliver watched the freighter ease closer and closer to shore, careful not to run aground on the small reefs surrounding Lian Yu. It came to a halt in a small cove on the east side of the island, right where it had been when the vessel was last in these waters. Oliver lit the chaff on the arrowhead, and drew back his bow, taking aim at the large pile of kindling on the shore. He fired and watched arrow travel in a large slow arc toward its target. It connected with the mass of driftwood and sticks, catching immediately and causing the landmines buried beneath to detonate. The explosion rocked the shore and drew the visitor’s attention the shoreline, just like he had planned.

Oliver raced down the rocky trails and arrived on the beach at the same time as the landing boat. There were only two people aboard. They had aged slightly, but they were still almost the same. He, on the other hand, looked like a different person entirely. In truth, after everything that had happened in Hong Kong and Russia, he was a different person. They would learn how different soon enough.

The pair walked toward him at an even pace, staying side by side. The man on the left wore dark body armor covered in a web harness, pistols on each hip and a sword strapped to his back. His mask was half orange on the left and half black on the right, with no eye hole on the right side. A strange coil extended from the back of the helmet, giving the appearance of an incredibly long braid. The man was intimidating to be sure, but his partner was just as dangerous.

The woman wore an all-black leather outfit, the jacket and pants almost tight enough to be form fitting. A pair of bandoliers holding knives and pouches formed an x across her chest and a pistol rested on her hip. A compound bow was slung across her back, resting on a quiver of arrows. A large black hood obscured her entire face, exposing only her lips and her chin. In fact, that was the only skin that showed.

He looked terrible by comparison. His hair reached down to his shoulders and his stubble had become a large beard. His once blond hair was now brown from dirt and grime. The green leather outfit he wore was shredded and cut. His shoes were lost long ago and his jacket sleeves had been sacrificed to wrap wounds. Only the green hood he wore remained unchanged by the island.  

The pair came to a halt a few feet in front of him. The masked man to a single step forward and to the right, slightly obscuring the woman from view. He could see the slight dip of her shoulder and slow movement of her arm. The man hid her from view so she could draw a weapon undetected in case Oliver was a threat. He was glad to know they still had their edge.

“Your mask is stupid, you know that? Just tell the world you were in the ASIS,” Oliver said, hoping his joke would relieve some of the tension. His voice was a rumbling growl, deep and scratchy from disuse. It made him sound very threatening.

The masked man reached up and removed his headgear, revealing a man with an eyepatch and dark hair greying at the temples.

“You look like shit, Kid,” Slade said, fighting back a smile, “I thought island life was supposed to be good for your complexion.”

“If by good you mean ingrained dirt into every part of your body, then yeah it’s wonderful.”

Slade chuckled and closed the distance between them. He embraced Oliver and the two men clapped each other on the back twice before pulling apart. Slade looked older and lighter at the same time. His hair was greying, but his eyes were bright. Shado had done wonders for him.

“Ok, boys that’s enough cuddling. We have a schedule to keep,” the woman in question said as she pulled back her hood. Shado’s face was the same; the same soft smile at the edge of her lips, her eyes bright and warm. Her hair was shorter and braided to keep it under the hood. Oliver moved to her and embraced her as he had Slade, happy to see his old friends.

She pulled away from him and looked him over. She suppressed a grin, but not entirely. “So this was your idea of final training,” she said, “ruining your wet work suit before you need it? I’m assuming you have another hidden somewhere?”

“Not quite,” he said. “Remember when I said my family has money? Well, we have a lot of money. Buying another suit won’t be a problem. As for the hood, it’s an heirloom, one I plan to return when the mission is over.”

Shado shook her head at his statement.

“Come on, let’s go,” Slade said, walking back toward the long boat, “like she said, we have a schedule to keep.”

“Slade Wilson, do not get in that boat. You have to carry the trunk,” Shado said.

“I’m not walking all the way back to that god forsaken plane wreck for a fucking wooden box. The kid can go get it himself-“

“Go get the case.”

“…right.”

Shado walked up to him and laid a hand on his cheek. She patted his face twice and let her fingers trail across his skin as she walked past him to the boat. Slade shook his head and sighed but he couldn’t keep the grin off his face.

“That woman will be the death of me.”

“At least it would be painless,” Oliver said.

“Sure, and I’m a blonde I.T girl with a hero complex.” Slade sighed again. “Come on Kid, let’s go get your shit. The less time I spend on this rock, the better.”

Oliver and Slade walked the well-worn path through the forest to the carcass of the plane that had been their home for almost two years. Nothing had changed except for contents of Oliver’s trunk, formerly Yao Fei’s. It now included tools and pieces of his time in Hong Kong and Russia. A string of carved wooden symbols hung above his cot, a concession to his second experience on the island.   Slade watched the archer from the entrance as he gathered the last of his things. His gaze was intense. He sized Oliver up, watching his movements and checking his stance.

“You’ve changed,” he said.

“Yeah.”

“Look Kid. I know Russia must have been bad if you needed to call us. The Bratva didn’t sound much better than anything here, but still…”

“What do you mean?”

“Are you sure you want to do this?”

“Yes,” Oliver said with steel in his voice.

Slade leveled a heavy glare at him. “This mission you told us about is insane,” he said. “It’s sociopathic, bordering on psychopathic and trust me, I know how easy the line can be to cross. Your mission could turn into a giant murdering spree. Your city doesn’t play by the island’s rules or the mob’s rules. If you do this, you have to be willing to live as two different people. You have to be a man and a monster without being both.”

“I understand what I have to be and what I have to do. I came to terms with it after I became an ARGUS asset. As for keeping myself from becoming a homicidal maniac,” he said, turning to fully face his former mentor, “I have the two of you to kick my ass.”

Slade smiled and walked into the interior of the wreck to grab the trunk. The two men made their way back to the shore. Shado sat on the bow of the long boat, patiently waiting as they walked toward her. She smiled at the two men and moved to get in the boat. They loaded the trunk and themselves into the boat and returned to the _Amazo_.

Oliver felt the salt water slap against his face as they made their way back to the freighter. This moment had been on his mind constantly since he planted himself here again. He was ready to begin. They were ready to save a city, _his city._ As the freighter loomed larger in front of them, Oliver remembered the last time he had boarded this ship and recalled the same sense of excitement. His reasons may have been different, but the point was the same.

_He was going home._


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! This is going to be going on the back burner for a little bit while I shift focus to another story I'm working on. I wanted to give you all something else before I got too deep into the next big thing, so here is Chapter 2. 
> 
> This was both fun and arduous. I hope I did justice to the show. 
> 
> I do not own Arrow.

Hospitals left a bad taste in Oliver’s mouth. Too much time spent as a patient and a visitor hurt his opinion of them. Hospitals provided a service, a great and necessary one. However, those services were not necessary for him. He already knew about the scar tissue, the poorly healed bone fractures and the post-traumatic stress disorder. These doctors  treated him like a science experiment. His previous experiences with constant examination had not been pleasant. 

The physical brought him back to the island and Billy Wintergreen’s knife in his gut. It brought him back to his cage on the  _ Amazo _ after he dug a bullet out of himself. It brought him back to Hong Kong, watching General Shrieve writhe on the ground with an arrow in his stomach. It brought him back to Ryker’s camp and the gun beneath his chin. It brought back the smell of blood and fists to his face as Konstantin Kovar’s men tortured him. The memories assaulted him in waves, each one triggered by a hand touching the burns on his back or the knife wound on his stomach.

The doctors finally left him alone after what felt like years of examination. The tests had been not only for his benefit, but also for his family. They needed to show his mother that they had done their due diligence. After all, he was Oliver Queen. He sat in the Queen family wing of Starling General. It would be smart to cover all their bases and their asses.

He looked out over the twinkling lights of the city and marveled at how peaceful and perfect it seemed from this height. But he knew he only needed to walk the streets to see what Starling City really looked like. The lights were a cover, a veneer that hid the decay and corruption underneath. Corruption that his family had a hand in fermenting. The people of the city suffered without end because of men like his father. The rich and powerful members of Starling City had shaped it into something grotesque, something akin to Gotham City. He would not let them take any more from the people. Once he started, he would not rest until those who hurt his city knew justice.

He heard footsteps outside his room, two sets. One slightly heavier than the other, though the second was more pronounced. A pair of flat soled shoes and high heels. So a man and a woman, probably his mother and a doctor discussing him. He caught snippets of their conversation from the hallway, hearing the man tell his mother about his injuries.

“Twenty percent…scar tissue…second degree burns…back and arms…multiple fractures…never healed…”

The doorknob turned and the door slowly opened, then it paused. Oliver heard the doctor speak to his mother more clearly now.

“The Oliver you lost might not be the one they found.”

He saw them then, reflected in the window in front of him. His mother looked regal and imposing in her dark coat and heels. Her perfectly coiffed blond hair was lighter than he remember and her face had slightly more wrinkles around her eyes. But her eyes were still the same, calm and calculating, never failing to notice or understand every subtle gesture or smile. She was still every inch the woman he remembered.

“Oliver?” she asked. Her face asked the same question. Was he really her son? Was the man standing in front of her still the young boy she raised and loved? He turned to face her. Her eyes were bright in the light of the city. She held back tears just like he did. He gave her a smile, small but completely genuine. In that moment, he was the boy she raised and doted on. He was the one she scolded and hugged, bailed out of jail, and always gave the benefit of the doubt.

He had missed his mother.

“Mom,” he said. It came out choked, the emotions he felt making it hard to speak. She stepped toward him to look at him, inspecting him for injuries. She looked him over as only a mother could.

“Oh…my beautiful boy,” she said and wrapped her arms around him. She held him close and he did the same, taking comfort in her arms. He had missed her so much when he was gone. He was afraid he would never see her again. Being home and seeing his mother reminded him just how much he needed his family. Now he could really believe it. He was home.

***

Oliver breathed a heavy sigh of relief as he and Tommy sped away from Queen Manor toward the city. Arriving at the mansion had shaken him. The house looked cold and unforgiving, a far cry from the warm halls he knew from his childhood. The doorman making a grab for Oliver’s trunk sent him into attack mode, but he fought to rein in that instinct. His home wasn’t the island, he couldn’t just act on impulse anymore.

Seeing Walter had not helped matters, considering how his mother stood near the man. All his reservations retreated when Thea hugged him. He had missed her, as much as he had missed his mother and Laurel. His sister had grown so much and his chest tightened as he thought of all the things he’d missed. Now he had a chance to really be the brother for her. He owed her that.

Dinner had been a disaster. Being surrounded by some many people so quickly made him uncomfortable, almost to the point of anger. They would not leave him alone for even a moment. His mother seemed to have forgotten the doctor’s warning about her son not being the same man anymore. Surprising Raisa had been a high point. Speaking Russian had been for her, a small kindness for all she had done for him and his family. It was a bright spot in an otherwise terrible first day back.

Driving through the Glades now, Oliver had a far worse picture of his city than he had first thought. Tommy drove them through the broken streets, past abandoned buildings and shattered glass. The few businesses in the area had bars across their doors and windows.

People moved along the sidewalks in a hurry, eager to be anywhere that was not this area. Residents of the Glades were easy to spot; their clothes were older and more ragged, their faces hard and drawn. It reinforced the necessity of the plan. Now more than ever, he itched to hold his bow. His thumb rubbed over his finger as he took in the scene around him. The time for action had come.

“The city has really started to go fall apart down here. I’m glad you weren’t here to see that happen. Why did you wanna drive through this part of town anyway,” Tommy asked.

“No reason,” Oliver said.

His best friend still looked the same; blue eyes that held a bit of mischief and black hair styled just enough to be cool. He was bigger than Oliver remembered, filling out the suit jacket he wore. Tommy had never cared too much about being in shape before. Oliver wondered where that change had come from.

“Pull over here, Tommy,” Oliver said as they passed the old Queen Consolidated steel factory. 

He opened the door before the car came to a stop. Tommy panicked and slammed on the brakes, sending Oliver tumbling out of the car. Oliver corrected quickly, tucking into a roll. He pushed off after his feet were back under him and propelled himself up, coming to stand with his feet planted shoulder width apart and arms crossed. He turned to Tommy and saw dumbfounded expression on his friend’s face. The roll was not impressive by Oliver’s standards but to Tommy, who had never seen Oliver do anything like that, it was incredible.

“Dude! How did you do that? That was so badass! You just rolled out of a moving car and stood there like an action hero! You gotta teach me that!”

Oliver chuckled. The roll was something Slade taught him, though his instruction had involved hitting Oliver with an escrima sticks until he got it right. He looked over his shoulder and winked at Tommy.

“It’ll cost you in blood and tears,” he said. “Look, man I…I want to wander for a little bit. I’ll catch up with you later.”

“Ollie are you crazy? We’re in the Glades. Did you miss the part where I said this of town went to hell?”

“I heard you loud and clear Tommy. And that is exactly why I want to look around,” he said. Oliver let out a sigh and turned to face his friend fully. Tommy wore a concerned expression, just like everyone else around him. Oliver knew they just wanted him to be ok after everything that had happened. But he was not ok. He had not been ok for five years, and he needed those around him to understand that. He decided that giving Tommy a small bit of honesty would be best.

“I was on my own for so long Tommy. It’s… hard, to be around people constantly. I feel like I’m being smothered. I need some time alone. It’s how I process now. I just… I need you to understand how hard all this is. Please.”

Oliver looked Tommy in the eye, hoping his friend could see his pain. He was telling the truth; it hurt being around people who did not know him or the things he had done to survive. They wanted Ollie, their loveable playboy and dope. But Ollie had died in a cave with an arrow in his shoulder. The man he became was so different from their memories. It weighed on him to pretend to be someone he wasn’t. He hoped Tommy could see that now.

“Ollie I can’t just leave you in front of an abandoned factory. You are literally begging to be kidnapped. Come on, let’s just go and-“

“Tommy, please,” Oliver said, a small hint of desperation coloring his words. He needed to be alone for a few moments. He hadn’t been alone since Slade and Shado picked him up. Honestly, it was wearing him down. He needed time to himself to recollect his wits. His mask was slipping. Tommy saw more than he should have, but there was nothing he could do about it now. He just had to hope Tommy would give him space.

Tommy’s expression changed. It morphed from confusion to understanding to pain and finally settled on determined. Oliver knew then Tommy could tell the small differences in him now. He saw the tensed muscles and shifting eyes. He saw the clenched jaw and nervous tick on Oliver’s left hand, rubbing his thumb over his index finger. He saw Oliver for the first time; a man who looked like a cornered animal, begging for space and begging to fight all at once. He gave Oliver a small nod and slowly closed the door. He rolled the window down and looked Oliver over again.

“I’ll stay here while you explore. Just stay where I can see you please.”

Oliver chuckled at that. Tommy sounded like a concerned parent. 

“You know how ridiculous that sounds coming from you right?” he said.

“I know, I know. I just…well…,” Tommy said, scratching the back of his head as he searched for words. “Look Oliver I don’t know what happened to you on that island, but I want you to know that I don’t care. You are still you, whether you party like crazy or brood alone in front of an empty building. You’re still my brother. And I still have your back.”

Oliver smiled and nodded to Tommy. He walked toward the steel factory, surveying the area. This would do as a base. He just needed to put the pieces together. He would need to find a way to get his gear here discreetly. Making some alterations to the floor plan would be necessary too. He’d need running water and power as well. A plan slowly formed in his mind; a way to hide his activities and bring a little money back to the Glades.

The few peaceful moments of solitude and planning gave him time to gather himself. Now it was time for the hard part. He had to see Laurel. He had to tell her about Sara. He knew how that would go, but it had to be done. He composed himself and let out a long breath. He returned to the car and gave Tommy a small nod.

***

“Hello Laurel.”

“Ollie..”

“You look well.”

“Thanks.”        

“Can I speak to you for a minute?”

“Sure.”

The conversation felt just as awkward and stilted as he had feared. People milled about on their lunch break, taking the opportunity to enjoy the bright sunshine and pleasant temperature. But seeing Laurel took him back to those nights in the cold under the stars, staring at her picture by a fire. The memory was at odds with the scene around them. She still looked beautiful, soft brown hair and clear hazel eyes that belied her intelligence. But he didn’t feel the same things now. There was no sense of coming home or overwhelming relief and joy as he had expected. There was only regret and guilt. Even standing out in the open, away from CNRI  and in the middle of the lunch time rush didn’t change that. If anything, being surrounded made those feelings worse.

“I just wanted to say that I’m sorry. For everything. Don’t blame Sara for-

“For what Ollie,” Laurel said with a sigh, “falling under your spell? Just like me?”

Laurel’s gaze grew heated and she launched herself into a speech full of pain and anger. Oliver tried to take in her words, but Sara’s name brought him back to the island, to that night in the rain. Sara being shot and falling off the cliff. Ivo moving to kill Shado-

A flash of gold caught his eye and he looked around. For a second he believed Sara was there, about to walk by him. He turned his head a little to look, trying to appear contrite as Laurel vented her suffering to him. The gold color belonged to a short blonde woman in a white blouse and dark blue skirt. She held a bag from Big Belly Burger in her hands as she walked quickly, her heels and pace accenting her long legs and shapely behind.  She was rather short, probably coming up to his shoulders without heels. Her hair was pulled back in a tight ponytail, revealing a face with soft features slightly hidden by dark glasses frames, and full lips painted bright pink.

“Blond IT girl with a hero complex,” Oliver whispered to himself, repeating Slade’s words from the island. He transitioned from paying attention to Laurel to watching the blonde girl. There was something familiar about her. He heard a small voice, musical and kind. It soothed him, reminding him of another encounter he had two years ago. He focused on the words, trying to recapture that image.

“You look absolutely delicious. Too bad I have to eat you…and I really need to stop talking to myself in public.”

The words filled in the missing piece; he had seen her the last time he was in Starling. She had called him cute. She had babbled to herself in his father’s office when he broke in to retrieve some data for ARGUS.  She had made him smile. Oliver couldn’t believe it was really her. The odds that she would be here now just after he returned had to be astronomical. He wanted to know more about her, listen to her talk and make him smile again. That last part made him stop in surprise. Where did that come from?

Laurel’s hand whipped across Oliver’s face. The pain snapped him back to the present, and Laurel’s angry snarl told him he had forgotten why he was there. He had wanted to apologize, to make her understand about Sara, and all he did was hurt her again.

“You were stuck in hell for five years Ollie. I wished you would have stayed there a whole lot longer.”

***

“Rise and shine Mr. Queen.”

Oliver blinked, trying to regain his bearings. He sat in an uncomfortable wooden chair on a solid concrete floor. His hands were tied behind him, secured to each other by zip ties. It was cold and damp, the sound of water dripping echoed around him. A set of boots stood in front of him, with another further back on his left and far back on his right. He had been grabbed right outside of CNRI. Taking the side alley to recover after Laurel’s slap had not be smart, but he had needed the time to regroup. He must have lost his focus and been picked up by some men looking for a ransom.

He sighed, a small almost content sound. This was something he knew. This was something he could handle. People and conversation were tough, but being tied up and beaten; that was his wheelhouse.

The man in front of him kicked his chair to rouse him, so Oliver played the part of the shocked victim. The men in front of him all wore full masks over balaclavas, stylized like Japanese demons and had the hoods of their jackets up. They clearly wanted to hide their faces, which was smart. These men weren’t amateurs.

“Did Robert Queen say anything to you before the Gambit went down?”

Warning bells went off in Oliver’s head. This wasn’t a ransom kidnapping. These men wanted information about his father, which meant they could be linked to the names in his father’s notebook and the men and women who had failed this city. Oliver steeled himself, sliding back into the cold and dark place inside that he had found on the island. The space blocked out all unnecessary thought and emotion, bringing him clarity and foresight for the coming fight. These men had to die.

“He did,” Oliver said, “he said I was going to kill you.”

Oliver slowly pulled his hands from behind him, now free from his bonds. The masked men took a step back. They hesitated, unsure how Oliver freed himself. They knew he was just a playboy, a screw up that waltzed through life with his parent’s money. How he could free himself from his bonds and stare them down with cold lifeless eyes was beyond them. That second of hesitation gave Oliver his chance. He stood quickly, planted his feet on the ground and brought chair between his legs. He lashed out at the man on the right and shattered the chair against his back. The man went down in a heap, groaning and rolling on the ground in pain. Oliver dodged a swing from the man on his left, picking a splintered piece of the chair and stabbed his attacker with it. The man screamed in pain and Oliver swept his legs out from under him. The man fell forward onto the makeshift pike and impaled it further into his shoulder. Two attackers were down, leaving only the man on his far left still alive.

The last man was armed with a submachine gun, but the sight of his beaten companions seemed to shake him. He made eye contact with Oliver and knew if he stayed he would die. The kidnapper ran from the abandoned building, blind firing his weapon in an attempt to dissuade Oliver from following. Oliver took off after the man, taking a route along scaffolding to get to the roof. Height was his ally here. He needed a bird’s eye view to track his target and plan where to intercept him.

He spotted the target twenty yards ahead. Oliver followed him along the rooftops, jumping fencing and building gaps easily, eating up the distance to his goal. He tracked the man into another abandoned building and caught him from behind. The man struggled in Oliver’s grip, one arm trapping his gun hand and the other wrapped around his neck. Oliver held the man in place, trying to keep the thrashing to a minimum.

“You don’t have to do this,” the man said, pleading for his life.

“Yes I do,” Oliver said. He twisted hard, breaking the man’s neck. He released the body. It fell to the floor, limp and lifeless. He stared at it, emerging from his inner darkness and returning to stand by. He stared at the body for a moment and felt a small twinge of regret mixed with annoyance. These men could have given him answers about their employer, someone who clearly knew more about Robert Queen than most. He had wasted an opportunity here. He shook his head slowly.

“No one can know my secret.”

***

Oliver slumped against the concrete pillar near his trunk, exhausted and hurt. The last forty eight hours had been exactly what he expected and nothing like he planned all at once. Tommy’s welcome home party was the exact distraction he’d hoped for, but he hadn’t been counting on Tommy observing him. The man watched him like a hawk, searching for signs of what he saw earlier. Part of Oliver was still touched that his friend made the effort to understand him, but Tommy’s kindness complicated the mission. So he had pulled out the playboy act one more time. Tommy had been so happy to see “Ollie” back that he forgot to keep an eye on Oliver. He’d slipped away and concluded his business with Adam Hunt.

The first name he could cross of the List. He had scouted and prepared as much as he could and still managed to almost get himself killed. He thought Hunt would increase his security detail after the confrontation in the parking garage, but he had not thought about how many guns would be there. Then Lance had showed up right when he was shot, then he almost got shot  _ again  _ on the way out, then almost fell off the zip line. The list of mistakes grew with every rerun of the mission. He had to be better. He had to train more.

His phone rang, breaking him out of the fog of memory. He reached into his jacket to grab the device. He frowned at the screen. BLOCKED NUMBER blinked at him with each ring. He couldn’t figure out who would call him but not reveal themselves. The only option that made any sense were the kidnappers. Maybe there had been a fourth man in that warehouse. Oliver let out a deep breath, readying himself for the interrogation.

“Who is this?” he said in a harsh voice. 

“Home for two days and you already managed to get yourself into trouble. A kidnapping Kid? Really? We taught you better than that.”

Slade’s voice was a welcome sound for Oliver, even if it was accompanied by a lecture. He missed his friend, and the man was one of the only people who understood what he was now.

“It wasn’t that bad,” Oliver said, “they never had a chance.”

“You’re just lucky they were thugs and not professionals.”

“They were trained Slade, they weren’t amateurs. They didn’t-“

“If they were professionals, you would be dead. Professionals don’t wear stupid red demon masks.”

“Says the man who wears a black and yellow mask with one eye hole.”

Slade sighed. Oliver knew he was getting frustrated, but he couldn’t help teasing him a little. Slade’s voice was calming, giving him the confidence to go on the attack. His mentor always knew how to rile him up.

“The point is that you aren’t ready yet. You can’t do this on your own Kid. You’ll just get yourself killed before you accomplish anything. Your failure tonight with Hunt should have shown you that.”

“How did you know about Hunt anyway,” Oliver asked, surprised by Slade’s admission. He had only confronted Hunt an hour ago.

Slade snorted at him, amused that Oliver had to ask.

“Did you forget who I am Kid? Did you forget who my partner is?”

“No I haven’t, but I didn’t think the police had finished their report-“

“We didn’t hear it from the police Kid,” Slade said, “Maybe you need some more training.”

Oliver heard Slade take a big breath and release it slowly. He was clearly uncomfortable with what he wanted to say next.

“We want in.”

Oliver blinked hard several times, trying to wrap his head around those words. Slade and Shado wanted to join him. He was sure that it was Shado’s idea. She always worried about him when he was alone. Slade may have wanted to call and talk, but he wasn’t enthusiastic about Oliver’s crusade. He had made that clear when they picked him from the island. But he still cared enough to want to help. Their concern touched him. If he was honest with himself, he would love to see them again. If anyone could help him do this, it was them.

“…maybe I could use some help.”Oliver said after a beat, trying to keep the hope out of his voice.

Garbled noise came through the speaker and a female voice answered him.

“Good. We are on our way. We will be there in an hour.”

“You’re already on your way? What if I would have said no?”

“Then I would have found you and convinced you that you needed our help,” Shado said.

Oliver laughed at her, knowing she would have found a way to make him see her point of view, most likely involving Slade pulling his leg. Literally.

“I’ll text you an address. Come here once you land. We have a lot of work to do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Saddle up folks! Next time Team Lian Yu arrives!

**Author's Note:**

> What did you think? Comments and constructive criticisms are always appreciated!


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